Soul Searching

29th July 2008

My sleeping day today,just finish my 2 days night at work.As usual 2nd night always suck but hings getting better when it's time to knock off soon.Well.... it's a rough week for me but i get some advise from my only friend that can be trusted Fauzi.

Last 4 days was my birthday,for those who remembers,a big THANK you.The first person to wish me n sing for me is Fauzi hehe followed by Hanis,My bf,Lilian(i didn't expect!),Fit,Nisha,Irfani,Kristel,Kakak su! & all the ward 43 staff. Really appreciate it. For those who i expected to remember-they forget n can't be bother,you know who u are. But i work afternoon shift on my bday! hehe

The next day,25th July, me,my bf,anisa,aidil,sofa,irda,mamat & hidayat went out together.We went to vivocity-catch a movies Dark Night batman.Then we had our dinner at Earl Swensen's. I was so surprise that they bought me wallet n handbag from GUESS,really appreciate it n i love it!!!!!!! the present was shared by them together with Tracy & Karen! Too bad they can't make it but i really love the present..... love u all

Today,i should have met my boyfren but when i called him just know he's at double O for the bartender competition n guess what-he didn't inform me. Well...................... i don't know. Guys are so complicated.I just can't be bothered.Whatever happen,happen...

Anyone...

13 july 2008

I tried to keep myself happy n lively but it seems i'm not being myself.I am tired n i keep on crying every night thinking.... Thinking how am i suppose to face the problems that i'm having now.
Suicide is not the answer to a problems.Everybody have their own problems....


I don't know.. i don't know... i don't know

depress

10 july 2008

i cried the whole shift at work
all my colleagus were asking wat's wrong with me but i just keep silent

only ana know my secret
i don't have anyone to talk to on that point of time





i don't deserve to live

where love is concern

9th july 2008

Where love is concern
Life wouldn't be the same
It hurts inside of me
It's healing but the scars remain


Where love is concern
It's so complicated
Up's and down
Life still go on.... Just be strong


Where love is concern
It's either we end it
Or remain it with pain
Some can bear it


But i rather let my wrist to be slit...

Tiring day....

8th July 2008

It's all my fault for sleeping late at 1 am and i have to woke up at 5 am.Super tired.Today morning shift-partner with Olive.It's great working with her! thanks Olive,for helping me out today.. really appreciate it.

Most of my patient went for procedure,a short procedure-X-ray/ct scan fetch here n there.Almost like a porter job.But,i'm getting use with it.

Thank god there's ITE student also..They help us in ward alot! thanks.
Fauzi,this for you.Well.... I know that my secret is safe with you,so i trust u alot.Thanks for being there for me when i need you the most.Please! my b'day is coming... let me list out wat i want

• Ferris wheel ride at the S'pore flyers
• Cable car ride
• DHL hot air balloon ride
• Stetoscope
• Swensens
• Fauzi,bring me to the place i've never been-club hehehe
• Wallet

Thanks....

I know you can't afford to spend all this on me but it's ok.... as long as u wish me,i'll be more than happy :)

I went out with Farid today to causeway pt. had our dinner n we left.As usual he was late,a bit upset but ok i;m fine with it. :)

Roller Coaster

5th July 2008



Today i went 2 wedding,one is at Jurong(anisa sister) the other one is at woodlands(nani brother), Alhamdulillah the solomisation went smoothly.I drove to Jurong first-thank god i'm not lost cause the place is familiar to me. After we ate etc etc i send all my frens to Teck Whye back... cause they all want Hidayat to drive his car n hang out somewhere whereby i have to go Woodlands straight..So they hang out w/o me :(.

As usual,places that i'm not used to it i will got lost,so one of the place is Woodlands :) hate it.hehe but Alhamdulillah i manage to find the place...I would like to thank Nani for the tibbits etc etc but i'm sorry i can't come on Sunday.And Yeah that's me driving...




.

Well someone just cheer me up again n again n yeah Fauzi hehe my good friend :)






That's us webcam together,almost every nite. hehe. He's a good listener and sometimes a good advisor also. :)


Last few days i went out catch a movie with Farid.. well Me and him we're ok again.

Super angry ++++

1st July 2008

Today,i'm supposed to meet my bf but guess what? he didn't bother to call or text me at all.I was angry n still angry now cause it's my off day. Fly just like that. At one moment i feel like to end this relationship n still thinking until i surf the net "how to ask for break up". i keep on calling him umpteen of time but he didn't pick up.Super angry with him.then he text me like 2030 hrs saying that he's been scolded by his supervisor,so that's mean he at work without even text me at all! i just don't understand y... he's taking me for granted,maybe he thought i don't have any feelings?????? or he just wants me to not bother him??????? or sick of me???????

i don't know...i was so upset... don't know who should i share with,i called my ex-bf but he's hopeless... nvr care or call me back or wat. Then i shared it with Fauzi,i understand he have to work n can't call me immediately but at least he's the only one that reply my msg,really appreciate it buddy.

That's him fauzi my buddy hehe,he's the one who gave me all his photos... :) Handsome boy!